The United Nonsense of Will Powers' Wise Bible

Employee Assessment

1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2. hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without
3. wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4. thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always
5. finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6. measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7. breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8. vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9. knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10. classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be
11. dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12. promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13. executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:
That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly reread only odd-numbered lines!

Source: Carla Knipe

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