Jokes

Paddy and Murphy were walking down a road when they came across a headstone. "WOW!" exclaimed Paddy, "This guy was 147 years old when he died.". "What was his name?" asked Murphy. Paddy replied "Miles from London.".

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over

Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8

What does "minimum" mean?
A very small mother

What does "maximum" mean?
A very big mother

Whats the difference between an American student and an English student?
About 3000 miles

What sleeps at the bottom of the sea?
A kipper

Why did Robin Hood only steal from the rich?
Because the poor have nothing worth taking

What kind of biscuit would you find at the south pole?
A penguin

What is a skeleton?
Bones with the person off

What is "out of bounds"?
An exhausted kangaroo

What is the most slippery country in the world?
Greece

What might you eat in Paris?
The trifle tower

If twos a company and threes a crowd, what are four and five?
Nine

Who was the best actor in the bible?
Samson, he brought the house down

What kind of fish can't swim?
Dead ones

What do golfers use in China?
China tees

What is the strongest bird?
A crane