Silly Puns

A bicycle can't stand alone because it's two-tyred.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism it's your count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into the upholstry machine is fully recovered.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

When you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

Source: Duncan Mountford