Smoking Warnings

Smoking can turn you into a racist/an inline skater.

Smoking while young can lead to unsafe sex, teenage pregnancy and spots.

Smoking while pregnant can get you pointed at on the bus.

Smoking leads to bullying, truancy and disappointing examination results.

Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein smoke. David Beckham and Michael Owen don't. (Lawyers' note: unconfirmed but legal action seems unlikely.)

Smoking can split the Tory party/bring about the return of a Tory government.

Smoking can cause hairy backs and beards.

Smoking can seriously impair your text messaging.

Smoking is the new nose picking

French people smoke a lot, and look at them.

Smoking in a car is a main cause of traffic congestion.

Smoking contributes to little donkeys being rendered down for glue.

Smoking seriously damages your self-esteem and your credit rating.

Smoking leads to fox-hunting/vegetarianism.

Smoking causes boy bands.

Source: Will Hall